I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was sitting in a booth, signing my name on the line for tens of thousands of dollars in kitchen equipment. The building was empty aside from us, and I looked over the booth into the strikingly barren café that was now my responsibility.
It was a horrible feeling.
It was a blank canvas. My blank canvas. I had chosen it for myself. I was committed. Tied down.
I remember feeling this sudden, crazy dissonance between the previous cafe tenant and myself. She was done. Her loose ends were tied up, she had made it through the trials, and she was out. Meanwhile, I was just getting my toes wet.
She could tell how scared I was. She tried to offer a few last words of encouragement, and I couldn't handle it. For the first time in longer than I could remember, I cried. As strong as I wanted to be, I couldn't hold it in. After we hugged goodbye, I went to the bathroom and sobbed harder.
I was so scared. I felt so alone. What had I done?
If you know me, you know I'm quite the epitome of a free spirit. I spent the two years before landing in Traverse City bouncing around the world, living in hostels, working volunteer jobs in Europe and Central America, and generally following wherever life took me. I'm always in motion, always seeking something new to explore.
And yet, here I was, consciously choosing to turn my own world upside down.
In that moment, all I could see was myself getting stuck. I couldn't just pick up and leave at the drop of a hat anymore. I had signed up for something that needed me to stay. I knew that full well going into it, but had I made a terrible mistake?
It took me a while, but I calmed down and dug back in.
Over the next two weeks, I did some of the hardest work of my life. And just two and a half weeks after the previous café in that space had closed its doors, I opened mine.
On opening day, we had lines out the door from open to close. My brand-new team could barely keep up. It was incredible.
It was my first real taste of the outpouring of love, support, and joy that I would get to experience through this new undertaking. I was reminded that I wasn't stuck. I was rooted.
I wasn't giving up my freedom to explore, create, and grow. I was finding an entirely new way to do those things. I was becoming part of something. I had a place to pour my energy, my ideas, my curiosity, and my heart into, and to watch what happened when other people brought theirs, too.
What a year it's been.
Not all sparkling moments, that's for sure. This sh*t is hard. I knew it would be, but now I've felt it, over and over again. There have been at least ten times I've said to myself, "I have never been more stressed in my life," only to discover a new level of stress a few weeks later.
I've learned a lot of hard lessons, sometimes the hard way twice. I've sacrificed things for the sake of this business, and I've gained things I never could have anticipated. I still question my own decisions, my abilities, my sanity. I have days when I feel like I can conquer the world and days when I wonder how on earth I am going to make it through the next one. I’m figuring it out all over again on a daily basis. There will always be more problems to solve, risks to take, bills to pay, and ideas that may or may not work.
But there is also so much to celebrate.
There are the people who have become regulars, whose orders we know and whose lives we've gotten to know a little bit, too. The friendships that have formed across our tables, the conversations that have stretched long after the meal was finished, the events that started as wild ideas and turned into truly beautiful evenings. The card games played late into the night, or first thing in the morning. The people who have worked alongside me, bringing their own creativity, care, and personalities into this place and making it something I could never have built alone.
There are so many little moments I wish I could freeze in my brain forever. Laughter from a table in the corner. Someone telling me they brought a friend because they just had to show them this place. A room full of people enjoying something that, not so long ago, existed only in my imagination.
Building a business is a strange thing. You start with a vision that feels entirely your own. You make the decisions, take the risks, put your name on the line. But if you're lucky, somewhere along the way, it stops being entirely yours.
People make it their own. They find their favorite seats, create their own traditions, bring their friends and families, and fill the space with stories you never could have written yourself.
And suddenly, this thing you built becomes something much bigger than you.
I get asked all the time how things are going with the café. It's a question I still struggle to answer, because the truth is complicated. Some things are going wonderfully. Others are really, really hard. I don't know exactly what the next year will bring, but I don’t expect it to be easy.
Regardless, I know that I'm proud of what we're building. And I'm so grateful to be building it here.
A year ago, I stood in an empty café and cried because I was terrified of what I'd committed myself to. I thought I was trading away a life of freedom and possibility for one of responsibility and permanence.
Today, I look around that same room and see a year of memories. I see people I love, people I've only just met, and people I haven't met yet. I see a thousand possibilities for what this place could still become.
I still want to see the world, chase ideas, try new things, and follow the unexpected. I think I always will. But I’ve also gained such an appreciation for being rooted in a community. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it for those years before. So thank you for welcoming me, supporting me, and being part of this story.
Here's to one year of Right Bower. And to however many beautiful, messy, unpredictable years ahead.
I’m not really one to throw myself a birthday party, but you know I’m 1000% throwing an over the top all day party for my business’ first birthday. Please please please, come celebrate with us! I promise it will be cute and fun and there will be free birthday cake ;)
Cheers
Victoria
